My gosh. By using this website, you agree to our use of cookies. People tend to change over time, and as we go through different phases of our lives, sometimes the distance we feel from our partner is larger than others. My guess is that if you are going to do this together, you are going to need to spend a lot more time together. In fact, He knows that you can’t and never had any expectation for you to be able to. She sounds like she has some mental health issues (and it's not clear from your post how much help she's getting with the child-rearing and housework). but that would be meaningless as an anonymous stranger on the internet. I'm going to see a counselor ASAP for myself and hoping that we can convince my wife to attend a session. I have sacrificed to live in this area to make her happy. This article was originally published online in July 2017. Do not leave your children alone with this woman. You can get advice on potty training, talk about breastfeeding, discuss how to get your baby to sleep or ask if that one weird thing your kid does is normal. I hope she's keeping these comments between the two of you as you're much better equipped to deal with emotional outbreaks. I’ve been the bitter wife, I’ve been the ungodly mother, I’ve been the housewife so overwhelmed that I just end up doing nothing. You have options, by the way, but adoption almost certainly isn’t one of them. Sounds like you've got some dysfunctional communication. This is exactly what couples/family counsellors/therapists are good at dealing with. She said we'd talk about it. It’s not. My mom had never fully accepted her and had said some things in the past that my wife didn’t like at all . My first marriage, her 2nd. It's okay to be overwhelmed, but don't stay there! Seriously? I'm a little bitter that she complains about how she hates being a parent and how hard it is, yet I carry most of the parental weight. Or she could become the primary caregiver. Too juvenile. She has a 10 year old and 8 year old from a past relationship and the dead beat dad hasn't been in the picture in years. Sometimes being a parent just isn't for you and you realise it too late.....when the child is here and needs you. You brought up the subject of separation by text? Please check your entries and try again. I hated myself and thought I was a monster for not being in love with my kids and thrilled with my new role as a mother. I had post-partum depression. Time Doesn’t Always Heal All Marital Problems, Especially since my Wife Hates My Family. Cookies help us deliver our Services. On Sunday's I'm a dad of two all by myself, and it's really not that tough either. Ok, so I guess her ideal scenario is she just move out, but have the freedom to stop by whenever she'd like to see the kids? Will you have a chance to advance in your caree… Believe me, they have seen and heard it all. Let her know that you want a professional to help you both come to the most constructive conclusion possible. She would get every second weekend or whatever, you would get maintenance, and the kids would almost certainly have to go into daycare. 7 Answers. We use cookies to provide you with a great experience and to help our website run effectively. My first marriage, her 2nd. This is why. Lori looked at me and stormed upstairs to the bedroom, where she stayed for the rest of the night. A therapist can also help figure out if that is even what she really wants here or if there is a better solution (like going back to work or school or whatever). I would urge you guys to talk to someone who knows about PPD. I brought it up a few months ago to my mom and since then my mom didn’t say anything back to her negatively . Maybe it shouldn’t have surprised me. Children are about as normal as can be, granted, the older one is a bit stubborn and hyper. Sadly, there are parents who don't want to be parents. I was severely depressed last year and this made me intensely lonely. Watch the video below for my story and my message for you. Ask Ammanda: My wife doesn't want to have sex with me; Ask Ammanda: My wife doesn't want to have sex with me. She says she wants to leave. 2. I was thinking about those words later as I washed dishes and tried to listen to the acoustic station I had playing as my boys bickered back and forth from their bedroom. I’ve been the mom in the bathroom with the door locked, tears running down my face because I just didn’t know what to do about my strong-willed child. I'd be a cake walk if the 1 year could walk unassisted, but that'll come in time. Have you been in trouble with the police? Also, sometimes during bad marriages, people refuse to speak in person. The real reason your wife doesn’t want sex anymore. Will you receive a considerable financial boost as a result of a higher income? I'm glad she does this everyday. (It used to be multiple days a week where she would never see them. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. You just have to put on your big girl panties and deal with it. It could be a mental health issue, and it could also be that she regrets this huge decision that she never understood the gravity of. Do you really believe that being so overwhelmed and isolated that you reach out to Google is abundant life? I was talking to an ex sister in law of mine and she told me how much my aunt had interfered in her marriage. But you can do all things through the One who gives you strength. Can I just get five minutes of peace while I clean up? And if she genuinely wants to make a huge life transition and wants the kids to do the same, someone's gonna need some more fucking therapy here. We live in a warm place year round. Naturally, everyone lined up to say it was Post Partum Depression, but I knew better. But today was different. Thankfully she drops them off at daycare in Friday, and has an actual personal day each week to herself. I am 21, and I live with her I have my whole life. She year or so ago got a job outside of the house, and since she has become even more involved in our lives. I wake them up, dress them, feed them, load em up and drop em off at day care. Reluctantly. He wants you to let go of that and let Him guide you. she always seemed that way to me. I have tried it all. My wife and I have a one-year-old daughter. You can probably work through it and achieve a good outcome for you and your children. Ahh reading this made my heart hurt. Having this sort of communication on text is a good idea to be able to get a custody situation that is good for the kids. They have walked people through feelings of hatred for their spouses and their own children and can walk people through separations and yes even giving up primary custody of their kids. I don’t want to be a mom anymore… Overwhelmed mom depressed… Motherhood is too hard… I was thinking about those words later as I washed dishes and tried to listen to the acoustic station I had playing as my boys bickered back and forth from their bedroom. She's home by 4:00, and ideally does some laundry or some chore. In this situation, it is actually really smart to communicate via text and to keep records of it. He did not create you to be able to do all this on your own. Your wife is suffering and you suggest she's low enough put the kids up for adoption? After an awkward silence, my mom left. That she was unhappy, hadn’t been happy for a very long time and that she thought we needed a divorce. You both need to get to the root of her problems. But that doesn't mean you'll learn to like it. I split care 50/50 with my ex, and it works well. Four year old can read, the 2 year old has memorized some books and "reads" them. Absolutely nothing brought me joy or happiness or peace. I want her to be happy, but i don't know a good compromise right now. That she was unhappy, hadn’t been happy for a very long time and that she thought we needed a divorce. I could speculate about what this all means (mental illness, addiction, etc.) I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my kid in that way mothers are basically programmed to love their kid. My wife hasn't been happy in while. It was the darkest, most terrifying experience of my life and it was not until I found a therapist that specialized in treating PPD that anything got better. "My only advice, other than to leave, would be to have a conversation about why one doesn't want kids and why one does." My wife hasn't been happy in while. However for now there seems to be the consensus in the German society that these women exist and we need to be aware of that problem and probably just accept that motherhood isn't a binary thing which magically appears in every woman. 1,597 articles. This might mean lightening the load for her, making sure you are both there together, counselling and taking more. I took it very poorly and the next few weeks were a blur. Ok, the truth comes out, and I decide to see how far she's willing to stand behind this statement. Good luck and much love your way. But I have to suck it up and do right by my child, so....that's what I'm doing. Maybe it shouldn’t have surprised me. These suggest that you have problems communicating your frustrations and problems with her. You can't just hope she will snap out of it. And if you are going to deal with the problems constructively, you need to not frame this as her problem. She is the most beautiful person in the world. Absolutely! ; it was because I have been the mom that felt like that. You’re right that you can’t do this. It’s too depressing. She takes them to the pool and the older two take swimming lessons. You’re going to have to support each other. Last month, my wife turned over to me in bed and said that she wasn’t in love with me anymore. Yes, this drives me nuts. Analyze. I think she knows her misery is not good for the kids. My wife of 10 years told me she didn’t love me anymore. https://alliecasazza.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/NewHomepageVideo_1.mp4, #1 Time-Saving Tip for Getting Dinner on the Table Each Night, An Open Letter to My Loved Ones About Gift Giving. Last month, my wife turned over to me in bed and said that she wasn’t in love with me anymore. I doubt this is about will power. This is the one decision you can't take back to the store for a refund or shove in the back of the cupboard/sell on Ebay and never look at again if you're outside the returns window. We are first time parents together with a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old. Don't judge OP based on this. If your wife is ranking low on your like meter, determine whether it’s for a valid reason. We have 2 beautiful babies and her parents help babysit. Why doesn't mom want you in her home any longer? There is so much more than you can even imagine waiting for you in the palm of His hand. I took it very poorly and the next few weeks were a blur. We are first time parents together with a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old. His wife is a stay at home mom to their toddler and not into sex anymore. Become even more involved in our lives person in the palm of his hand here, and she needs.... Weeks were a blur can get through it and achieve a good right! 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